On the way home tonight, a friend called me.  A friend who I hadn’t spoken with in a while.  She always makes me smile, and I always make her laugh, and she was the perfect antidote to the mood I’ve been in.  Her laugh alone raises the corners of my mouth.  She called to talk, but also because she was down about a guy… she’s always down about some guy.  Before she started her tale I told her that this time I was down and needed to be picked up, that I was the one who needed to be entertained.

And then she entertained me.  Her relationship issues were minor relatively speaking, but it’s all in the perspective I guess.  She’s with a younger guy, and he just hasn’t matured the way she had hoped.  He lets distractions from other girls get in the way and doesn’t see what it’s doing to her.  She’ll get over it, she always does.  But if not, she’ll move on.  She always does that too.  An envious ability.

But she has other things going on too.  She woke up one day last May with no hearing in her ears.  One ear has since recovered, but the other is beating its last drum.  Doctors don’t know what caused it, she’s on steroids for it, and she’s seriously having to consider a hearing aid for the bum ear.  (Again, perspective.)  But she’s still laughing, she’s still beautiful, and I wish we were closer so I could giver her a hug.

Another friend is sending me texts and emails… checking in on me with jokes and comments.  She knows I’m wrapping up the end of a relationship and she knows it isn’t easy, so she’s making herself available for as much time as she can until it’s inevitable conclusion.  She’s a busy girl.  She has other friends who live closer to her.  But she’s ready to drive an hour to see me to entertain me to keep me company.  She’s a relatively new friend, so I haven’t hugged her yet.  But she’s a good friend, so I should.

Another friend has been a glorious mental sparring partner for a while now.  She’s always ready with a rip or a barb, and she takes as well as she gives.  When she found out about this, she kept up the jabs, but she also kept up my spirit.  I’ve seen compliments and positive spin from her, and it helps hearing it from her because I know she wouldn’t waste time with bullshit.  I’d hug her, but she’s not the hugging type. 

Another friend, my oldest friend, lives far away but checks in with me by phone.  She cares and she has my back and I love her for it.  Unconditionally, she tells me to call whenever.  She’ll listen and if I want she’ll comment, and if I don’t want she’ll interject regardless.  But she listens, and that’s the key.  I’ve hugged her many times and I will again.

All of these people are helping to keep me afloat in my own puddle of self-retardedness.  Not a word, I’m sure, but c’mon… this is a blog.  I love all of them and I appreciate them now more than they know.  I’ll owe them all big when this is finally over, whichever way it goes.  I’ll have to drive and fly around the country giving hugs and buying dinners.  But that’s for after this is over.  For right now, with these friends I have by my side, I’m still missing one thing.  One friend.

My best friend.